The Endless Cycle of Good Luck and Bad Luck
by BlackRaven64
Summary: For as long as he can remember, Komaeda Nagito suffered the rewards and consequences of his good luck. The progression of Komaeda's insanity and how he came to his obsession with hope. Part 1 of Hope's Reconstruction Series. Free-time spoilers.
1. Prologue

Hey guys, so this is going to be my first Dangan Ronpa fic and I love Komaeda so much I just had to write a story on him. Anyways, this is going to be Act 1 of my three part Hope's Reconstruction Series that I plan on continuing(hopefully...) in the future however this can serve as it's own separate story.

This story is, for the most part, focuses only on Komaeda's past so yeah SPOILERS from his free-time events and his manga(at least from what I can get out of it since I can't read Japanese). Fair warning that I'll be elaborating on his past and will probably give Komaeda's character some slight OOC-ness but then again this is fanfiction so anything goes. But seriously, I'm really interested in the complexity of how Komaeda's character in SDR2 came to be so I wanted to have my own take on it.

Some dialogue in future chapters will be taken from the original game(s) but it's not going to be too much. Further apologies for any grammatical errors and other stuff I might have in future chapters.

But enough of my rambling, on with the story!

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the Dangan Ronpa series.**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's Reconstruction<strong>

Act 1: The Endless Cycle of Good Luck and Bad Luck

* * *

><p><strong><span>Prologue<span>**

I'm not quite sure when I got my special talent they call "good luck". I would have to guess just like the other talented students of Hope's Peak Academy, since birth. That must be it. I've had this wonderful good luck ever since I was born.

Isn't that truly amazing? To have such a great quality brings me so much hope. Hope not for me but for the hope of my fellow classmates. It makes my very being shiver with delight!

Oh, it's alright if you don't understand it now. You'll soon get it. I have faith for all of us that my good luck will bring Absolute Hope. A hope that will overcome any despair. Despair can and will never win! I should know. Because of my luck, I have experienced many extraordinary things throughout my life. . . ah. . .haha. . .

They were extraordinary things weren't they?

Hmm. . . Well, I suppose not too extraordinary now that I think about it. There was always that bad luck.

Every time something extremely good happened to me, there was always something extremely bad to cancel it out. Or I believe it was the other way around.

But either way, the thing is, those were my own stepping stones to that hopeful future!

This cycle of good luck and bad luck; something as marvelous as that, has helped me realize what I truly am in this world.


	2. Chapter 1

Here's chapter 1. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Dangan Ronpa and a good thing too since I'd probably screw something up.**

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chapter One - My Beloved Friend<strong>

I guess I first noticed my good luck when I was still just a small kid.

I grew up into a rather wealthy family. Father was an extremely influential businessman while Mother, although she never had any occupation from what I can remember, took part in many social outings. Both of them would always attend high-class parties and charity events almost every week. Even though they did many different things and went to many different places, I was never allowed to take part in any of them.

"You wouldn't enjoy being with a bunch of adults Nagito," my parents would tell me. "We promise to buy you a new toy and some treats when we get back. How does that sound hm?"

I would smile and nod at them even though most of the time they would forget their promise.

Of course, I couldn't complain though. I mean, we lived a life of luxury. We had a big mansion with many different rooms, an indoor pool, and servants to listen to our every beck and call. My room was always packed when stuff for me to play with and a huge amount of books for me to read as well. I guess I can say I was born lucky!

However, I was pretty lonely. Mother and Father were always busy with what they did that they usually left me to my own devices. I was home schooled by tutors so I never got the chance to make any friends. The servants were nice enough to talk to me but I knew they only did it because it was their job. For some of them, there was always this hint of disdain in their eyes that I never really got.

The only real friend I had at the time was my dog.

I found her as a stray. I was probably seven years old at the time when I first met her. She was looking for food around my house since my parents hosted a lot of parties and our chief would have the kitchen window opened when he was cooking. I felt bad for her so every time I saw her, I would sneak some food for her to eat behind the chief's back. Soon after, she came over every day. Not for the food but just to see me.

So, I decided to keep her and we became such good friends.

I was lucky to have her. We always played together and she would always stay by my side during the times when I had no lessons. She made me so happy!

I hated keeping her tied down or restricted so I let her to roam free outside anytime she liked. Besides, I was never allowed to keep her inside because Mother disliked animals in the mansion anyways. She would always come back to me whenever she went off somewhere so I was never worried. But that usually left me by myself again for a few hours. At times, I would stare out my window and wait for her to return.

One day, during a trip to the vet, I was surprised to find out that she was pregnant. Can you imagine that? I never knew she was with another dog when she was off on her own. But that's irrelevant. What mattered was that she was going to have babies. I was going to have more friends! I didn't care if they weren't human. This gave me a chance to not alone anymore. I would have to help take care of them and I was going to treat them like we were a big family.

It's interesting how the mind of a little kid worked doesn't it? Such big expectations and dreams; so full of excitement and hope!

At that time, I believed it was truly a stroke of good luck.

I was so ecstatic, I decided to take her to the park and play fetch with her. But just as we walked across the street to get there, I never noticed the enormous bus barreling towards us.

I remembered her barking and all I did was close my eyes, waiting for the worst to come. However, it never came. . .

I found myself on the ground, untouched.

In a split second, there was the sound of wheels screeching, a loud bang, and the poor creature's whimpering as she took her final breath.

She was dead.

I stared at the scene in front of me in shock. There was a big dent and blood on the front of the bus. The dog's body lay in a pool of blood a few feet away due to the impact.

People started to gather; talking all at once. The driver got out and, upon seeing the damage, quickly knelt down to ask me if I was okay.

I didn't say anything. I didn't pay attention to anything around me. My mind was focused on one thing only.

I scrambled over to the corpse of my beloved friend. I didn't care if there was blood getting on me or that her stomach was opened for her insides to be seen by everyone. I laid my head on her and cried.

Really though, could I not see how lucky I was back then? No doubt in my mind, I should have died along with her. That bus was just way too big and going way too close for it to miss me. I really should have been relieved. But instead, I continued to cry. I kept asking myself a bunch of pathetic questions.

Why did this have to happen? Why did she have to die? Why kill her when she was going to be a mother? Why do I have to be alone again? Why was God so cruel?

Urgh, that wouldn't be the last time I was going to be asking those annoying types of questions. It was only the beginning and as great as it was going to get, I wasn't ready for what my good luck had prepared for me in the coming years.

* * *

><p>Please review(if you like). Anyways, I'll probably update sometime next week so stay tuned!<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

Hello again everyone and the next chapter is up. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nuff said.**

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chapter 2- A Secret Revealed<strong>

I spent a lot of time cooped up in my room ever since my dog died. I remembered staring outside my window, waiting for a miracle that she would show up alive and well; ready for me to come out and play with her. At night, I would often cry myself to sleep; missing her dearly.

After a few days, I finally came to terms that she was never coming back.

Mother and Father were away on business so I was left in the care of the servants who, most of the time, left me alone as well. They didn't seem to care how I was doing which sort of bothered me a lot. I felt like they had hated me for some reason. I desperately wanted to know why.

Fortunately, as my good luck would have it, the answer was given to me in the form of nightly gossip!

One night, when I was coming down to get myself a glass of water; I overheard two female servants in the kitchen talking about me. I decided to listen in, curious as to know what they were saying.

"He's really sulking over that dog," one of our younger servants whispered. "Can't he just get himself a new one with the money his parents have."

The other one nodded but then sighed in relief. "If you ask me I'm glad that dog died. I hope he doesn't get a new one. He's been in such a negative mood lately. It's a good thing too. We can finally have a break and feel relaxed for once. "

I blinked in confusion. That was an odd thing to say.

The young servant didn't understand what she meant as well.

"But honestly though," the older one spoke again. "I'm actually surprised that dog managed to survive almost two years being near that child. It's longer than anyone else who's been around him!"

"Huh? Young Master Nagito?" The woman looked as perplexed as I was. What did she mean by that? "Isn't he just some spoiled little rich kid?"

The older servant shook her head.

"You don't really know about it since you've only been working with us for a few days but there's something wrong with that child."

"What do mean?" The younger questioned; completely hooked.

"You might not believe what an old woman like me says but I, and so does everyone whose worked here long enough, know that that boy was born cursed!"

You could imagine how ridiculous she sounded. However as a child, the word really got to me. Wasn't "cursed" meaning it had something to do with spirits, ancient legends, and all that scary stuff? Now that I'm older, I find that really funny. If I ever got the chance to see to her before, I would have laughed at her. I wasn't cursed. I'm just lucky!

Oh, I'm sorry! Anyways. . .

"Cursed?!" The young servant said unable to fully process the funny revelation. The older servant continued, determined to finish her story.

"Ever since Young Master Nagito was born, every nanny that was in charge of taking care of him was injured in some way. They never lasted for 5 months before some terrible accident would occur. I have heard from one of the new servants from last year tell me that she had almost fell off the stairs after deciding to stop in the middle of her duties and play with the child. She PLAYED with him! She told me he looked so sad that she wanted to cheer him up. And that's another thing! It's only when something really good happens to him that horrible things occur."

That last sentence made her shiver in disgust.

"Anyways, I did warn her not to let him get attached to her but she didn't listen. She told me she was just careless going down those stairs and that I was just being silly. Even calling me crazy! Well she learned her lesson when she got into a fatal car accident. We told the Young Master that she quit but that's not true. She's still in the hospital. The poor girl's practically a vegetable now."

I recalled that very same woman. She was really nice to me. She said we could be friends. But she only lasted for a week when I heard she "quit". I thought she just lied to me. I didn't know she actually got hurt. As I listened to the conversation, I started to feel a pain in my chest.

The servant looked down in shame. "She was so foolish . . . so naive. She truly believed he was a sweet little angel when he was the exact opposite. He's the devil's child!"

The other woman had a surprised expression on her face. She continued to stay unconvinced.

"I- I think you're blowing this way out of proportions," she stammered, trying to rationalize her senior co-worker. "Couldn't that have been just a coincidence? I mean, what about the Master and Mistress? They're fine."

The old woman scoffed and shook her index finger at her. "Why do you think they never take him anywhere? Never involve him in any of their activities? It's because even they know they're not safe around their own child. The Mistress almost died from blood loss when she gave birth to him! It's frightening how lucky that boy is; to not even get hurt by any of the horrible things he puts himself or others in. It's us who have to suffer from that monster!"

The young servant took a moment to ponder what she had said.

"Does the young master know about this?"

"No," she replied shaking her head. "He's completely unaware of the tragedies he has caused. He believes that dog of his died from an unfortunate accident when in reality he might as well have just killed the poor thing with his own bare hands."

My lips formed into a tight line; trying to keep my anger bottled up.

"That's a horrid thing to say!"

"But it's the truth. I'm just glad to have lived this many years working here but that's because I make sure I stay clear away from him. You should do the same."

I heard enough. I left feeling sick to my stomach.

Without making a sound, I went back up to my room closing the door quietly behind me. I stood there in the dark for what it felt like hours. I was shocked; angry. Was that why my parents and the servants kept their distance from me? Was that why my only friend in the world died in such a terrible manner? Was it true that my very existence had hurt and even killed the people around me?

Was I really cursed?

No. . . No, that can't be right. It's just as what that other servant said. It was just a bunch of coincidences! Nothing but coincidences!

I slowly slid down with my back against the door; my knees pulled up to my chest. I shook my head in denial.

The servants were just paranoid from overworking themselves. My parents weren't around because they were busy and they were perfectly fine being with me. Those nannies were just very clumsy when they took care of me. That nice girl and my dog died because of stupid people on the road and not because of me. All of those things were not my fault! Just coincidences! That's what I had told to myself.

But. . . even still. At the same time, I knew that what that lady said made so much sense.

It made sense why the servants looked down on me with such fear and hatred. Why, growing up, I couldn't recall a single nanny's face because they had left before I got the chance to get attached to them. Why Mother and Father always made excuses as to why I couldn't join them in anything they were doing.

No matter how much I denied and denied it, there was this feeling that was nagging me to believe that it was the truth. I hated myself for thinking that.

Well, there was one thing she said I couldn't comprehend though.

_"__It's only when something really good happens to him that horrible things occur."_

I decided to shake it off. It was just too much.

I went back to bed shortly after.

Somehow, even when I didn't believe that servant's lies, I felt relieved to have found out their secret about me. Strange right? As I lay in bed, I figured that's what I had wanted in the first place. The truth.

At least now I knew what they were thinking all those years and that honestly made me happy!

So, for the first time since my dog's death, I slept soundly that night.

* * *

><p>Time for some replying~<p>

**Codebreakeryuuki- **Thanks, I'm glad you're liking this so far. Komaeda is one of the most intelligent and complex, grey characters in the series which is why I love him so much! He definitely deserves some hugs I must say(especially for want I have planned later on *nudge "certain spoilers" nudge*)

**The Gone Angel- **I hope my fic can be helpful in any way for your story and I would love to read it in the future. I know how you feel. I'm constantly fearing of somehow screwing this series up xD

Anyways. . .

Thank you for reading and please review if you like! I appreciate some feedback.


	4. Chapter 3

Hello everyone and Happy Halloween! For a special DELICIOUSLY DESPAIRING treat, here's the next chapter. This is going to be fairly longer than the last two chapters.

Some news regarding the story: I plan on having a total of 6-7 chapters(this includes the prologue) for part 1 so this will be a fairly short fic. I'll probably try to update once every week but it depends on how my college work is. First year of college is a bit of a handful.

Now my dear readers, I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dangan Ronpa whatsoever.**

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chapter 3- Mother and Father<strong>

It had been a month since that night and I occupied myself in the library almost every day. I wasn't engaged with any of the stuff I read. I just read whatever to pass the time.

I also hid myself in the library so I wouldn't be a bother with the servants. Since I found out their secret, I accommodated to their requests and left them alone to work on their duties. I still denied their lies.

Anyways, I didn't like the fact that they thought Mother and Father didn't want to be around me because I was "cursed". I knew that wasn't true. I knew they both loved me. They were always just busy that's all. Besides, they were involved in stuff kids like me would probably be bored of so that was completely understandable!

Hahaha! But now that I think about it. Mother never really did take care of me as a child. Father never really did show me the ropes of being a businessman which I needed if I was going to follow his line of work. Both never really spent a whole day with me. They did give me presents on my birthday but were never there to celebrate it. They were nice to me; took care of my well-being. However, they never praised me, paid attention to me, scolded me. . .not like how most parents should.

But those were just the servants' lies talking to me. I loved them and they loved me. That's for certain!

So I decided to prove the servants wrong. I started looking up books on travel. I searched up places my parents and I could go on vacation as a family. I wanted to tell them about the things we could do together if we went somewhere. I wanted to show those servants that they were safe to be around me and that they had no need to worry. Sadly, I would have to wait to ask my parents because of their busy schedules.

Another week passed when I finally got the chance to do just that.

Father had decided to take some time off from work so he was staying home, often relaxing in the lounge. Mother was there too. She liked to talk to him about her day and what gossip her and her friends were talking about recently.

This was the perfect opportunity!

I stood in front of the doors to the lounge. I was excited. I was positive they were going to say yes. I just knew it. A surge of hope overwhelmed me.

Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door. A few seconds passed until I heard my father's voice answer from the other side.

"Yes? Come in."

I opened the door and poked my head inside. Father and Mother were sitting next to each other on the sofa. When they saw me, their faces had shifted into an expression of weariness. After a few seconds their faces softened and Father gestured me to enter further in. That definitely was a good sign! I smiled and quickly went inside, closing the door behind me.

"H-hello Mother, Father." I said. "How are you today?"

My mother was the one to answer and spoke in a gentle tone.

"Hello Nagito, we're fine." she said. There was a bit of nervousness in her voice but nevertheless she smile back at me. "What is it? Is there something you wish to talk to us about?"

For some reason, I started to fidget uncomfortably as I stood in front of them. Their attentive eyes boring down at me. I guess I was nervous as well. Having my parents giving me their full attention was both something quite foreign and nice to feel at the same time.

"Ah, yes!...um...I...well uh..."

"Nagito?" my mother looked at me concernedly. "Is something the matter?"

The words started to get stuck in my throat. I looked down at my feet flustered; clutching the rim of my shirt.

"W-well," I stuttered. "I was wondering, since you two aren't busy this week, I wanted to know if. . ."

They stared at me, patiently waiting for me to finish.

'You know what you want to tell them!' my mind screamed. 'What are you waiting for? Come on! Just say it already!'

"Well, I hope I'm not being a bother to you two but if it's possible...I...I!"

I shut my eyes tight. I realized that I actually was scared. I felt so confident in telling them before but now that I'm standing here with them, I was so scared. I'm the one who wanted this more than anything in the world but I feared the possibility of them rejecting me. That maid's word were flashing in my mind at that moment.

"Yes Nagito?" my father spoke. I think he was sensing my anxiety and was trying to reassure me. "It's alright. Speak up."

At that, I finally looked up and blurted out.

"I wanted to know if we could go somewhere together as a family!" I begged. "Please Mother? Please Father? I really want to spend time with you! Just this once?"

"Nagito," Father said, shocked. Mother looked at me with equal expression. I decided to continue.

"I-I never get to see you. We never do anything together. Why don't we? I'm so sorry if I did something wrong. I didn't mean to. I really want us to be a family. I want to be with you and...and I miss you! Please?!"

I was out of breath once I had finished. I looked at them with determination but it quickly faltered when my parent just stared at me in silence.

"...please?"

I wanted to cry at that moment. Why didn't they say anything? Why were they just looking at each other? It looked as if they were having a conversation with only their eyes. Their eyes were debating. Debating whether they should say something or not. It couldn't be true, could it? Did they really not feel safe around me? Were they really going to reject me?

'Behopefulbehopefulbehopefulbehopefulbehopefulbehopefulbehopeful. . .'I kept chanting in my head.

After what felt like hours, my father gave my mother a questioning glance. "Darling?"

My mother signed in reply."He is. . .our son," she whispered under her breath thinking I didn't hear it. I saw the doubt in her eyes. "...We can't ignore him forever just because of a bunch of things that happened in the past. . .right?" Her voice gave such uncertainly, desperately looking at Father for an answer.

My father just kept looking at her and then me and then back at her. Finally, he slowly nodded in reply.

"I feel like such a fool,"he said. He chuckled a bit at his comment however, I'm not sure what he meant by being a fool.

"Mother? Father?" I said looking at them nervously.

They both turned back to me and smiled.

"Alright then, where would you like go for the week?"

I couldn't stop smiling. They agreed! They really agreed! Their words filled me up with so much joy and relief. I couldn't help myself. I ran up to them and hugged them tightly.

I was right! Those servants were wrong. It felt like a huge boulder was lifted from my shoulders. It felt so good. Everything I hoped for came true!

"Thank you! Thank you Mother! Thank you Father! Thank you so much!"

They froze for a moment but then Mother hesitantly hugged back in return. Father slowly patted me on the head.

"Oh thank you. I know this place where we can go. I promise we'll have so much fun! You'll see!"

. . .

Ah~ You've have got that wrong.

The following day we boarded an airplane at the San Cristobal Airport. We were going to spend the week at some high-class resort. I sat between my parents in the front row of the First-class section. This was my first time being on an airplane and I was so excited. Mother and Father looked happy as well. I was so glad I told them how I felt. I would have never gotten this chance if I didn't have hope.

Then it happened again.

You see, the trip ended in disaster before it even started.

It was a few minutes past take off. In that moment, all hell broke loose.

The plane had been hijacked. There were five men in masks that were pointing guns at the passengers. They shouted at us to stay in our seats and threatened us that if we tried anything, they would shoot us. They told us they were taking the plane hostage as ransom. It was such a scary situation to be in for a child. I took a hold of my Mother's hand but she yanked it away.

I looked up at her to see her shaking in fear. But there was something else I saw. Behind the fear in her eyes, I saw regret, shame, disgust. . .towards me?

"I-I thought. . .I wanted to stop believing that. . ."my mother whispered. "This can't be happening."

I did my best to comfort her. "Don't worry Mother. We'll just do as they say and everything will be fine. They can't hurt us."

She didn't seem to calm down. In fact, she looked even more frightened.

"Nagito. . .why?"

I continued to try and calm her down.

"Please Mother, we'll be okay."

Hearing me speak, one of the hijackers went over to where we sat and pointed his gun at me.

"I told ya all to shut up or I'll blow your heads in!"

I hesitantly looked up at him. Trying to be brave for Mother's sake; I spoke in a quiet voice. "Please Mister, don't hurt u-."

"SHUT UP!" He forced the gun closer to my face.

I quickly complied; looking down not wanted to see the gun inches away from me. He then looked over at Mother and turned the gun at her.

"Y'know Miss," the hijacker said in a mocking tone. "Ya have to do a better job at keepin' control over ya kid."

My Father looked up and spoke in a calmly manner. "Please forgive us. We'll give you whatever we have. So please don't point that gun at her. Please stop."

All the hijacker did was roar with laughter.

"God! It's fun hearing rich bastards like you beg."

And with that, he shot my father in the shoulder.

My mother screamed. She got out of her seat and went over to Father. Immediately, she moved her hands over the wound; trying stop the bleeding. All I could do was sit there frozen in shock and fear.

"Let that be a warning to all of ya," the hijacker bellowed out to the other passengers.

Seeing the blood coming out of my father, I couldn't take it anymore.

'Father's been shot!' I screamed in my head. 'What should I do? He needs to go to a hospital. He's gonna die! I don't want that. I need miracle. Please let there be a miracle! Please let there be something to stop them. Anything! Please save us!'

**"****BOOM!"**

Suddenly, there was loud thunderous sound. I saw fire enter the plane. The passengers and even the hijackers were screaming. I don't know what happened but the next thing I knew we were falling. I was being pushed back against my seat with so much force that I couldn't even reach up for the airbag that was deployed. The plane was hurtling towards the ground really fast. I could barely breathe. There was a loud roar and the sound of metal hitting against each other resounded throughout the plane. Everything was deafening.

'We're going to crash! We're going to die! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!'

I turned to my parents as they held onto each other tightly; tears falling down their eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut; gripping the arms of my seat and braced myself for the impact. Then, I blacked out.

When I came to, everything was engulfed in thick black smoke. The air was hot and it hurt to breathe. I couldn't see anything but I figured I was still on the plane as I was stilled strapped onto my seat. I was pinned in an upward angle; my arms and feet were dangling in front of me.

'What happened? Where's Mother and Father?'

I looked over at the seats next to me but they weren't there.

When the smoke cleared, from a few feet away in front of me, I saw the bloodied and mangled bodies of my parents.

Mother's limbs were bent in odd places. Father had a huge, jagged piece of metal going through his stomach. Both of their eyes were wide open in shock; mouths gaping open. It amazed me to see so much intensity in those vacant eyes. It was like they were boring hatred into me; telling me "You killed us!"

I couldn't move. I couldn't even scream out. I didn't even cry. I was just in a daze.

I was stuck there, staring down at my dead parents; my eyes never leaving theirs for a second. I felt so weak. . .

I passed out again. I woke up at the hospital later that night. The doctors told me I had only a few minor injuries. They also said that I had needed a significant amount of oxygen when I was pulled out of the crash site to the point where they feared that the lack of oxygen would cause problems to my brain. But really, that wasn't the thing I was so concerned about at the time.

"Why did those men crash the plane?" I asked. "Didn't they just want money?" The doctors gave me a confused look and told me what happened.

Now I thought that servant calling me cursed was funny, but this was downright hilarious. Apparently, a meteor hit our plane which caused the crash. Everyone died except me.

A METEOR! I still laugh to this day at how utterly ridiculous that sounds. A meteor hits our hijacked airplane and I was the only survivor. What a riot! How did I even make it out alive with no major injuries after that? It's not possible right?

"It's a miracle," I remember one of the nurses telling me. "You sure are lucky! It still baffles me that a child like you survived something like that."

Ah yes, nothing is impossible with this good luck of mine!

Oh, and that's not all!

After my parents died, I was left with their inheritance. I had inherited their fortune and was left to do whatever I wanted since I had no other relatives to care for me.

A week after the crash, a lot of people went to my parents' funeral. Most of them were Father's business partners and Mother's friends. They patted my head, giving me looks of sympathy.

_"My condolences."_

_"I'm sorry for your lost."_

_"You poor child._

Some of the people wanted to help.

_"How about you live with us?"_

_"We can take care of you if you like?"_

But I knew they all had an ulterior motive for being kind to me.

_"You're parents left you with their inheritance right? Let me help support you."_

The money.

In the end, I turned them all down and continued living at home.

Since coming home, most of the servants quit. They were scared; fearing that since my parents had died, they could be next on the list to be killed by me. The few brave servants that stayed for the high pay didn't lived in the servant's quarters anymore. I spent my nights alone in the cold, dark mansion.

I stayed awake through the lonely nights, reminding myself of what that old servant had said.

_"__That child was born cursed!"_

_"__It's only when something really good happens to him that horrible things occur." _

_"__I'm just glad to have lived this many years working here but that's because I make sure I stay clear away from him."_

"She was right," I use to say. "I am cursed."

'YOU. ARE. LUCKY!' I would have liked to say to my younger self. Well, there is still a lot of stuff I had to go through growing up before I would finally realize that. So for now, I'll just have to let that "cursed" thing slide. Still. . .

I've always regretted it.

I regret ever knocking on that door; ever allowing Mother and Father to say yes.

I don't believe any amount of apologizes could make up for what I have done to them. I could never blame them for not being there for me as a child. They were scared of me, even ashamed of having me, but for the first time they had put their faith in listening to my request. And it ended horribly for them.

I think it was because I was their only son and I believe they tried their best to love me even when they never showed it. At least that's what I hope.

They didn't deserve to die. It's a shame that they tried to love a worthless piece of garbage like me.

Now, Mother and Father will never come back.

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading and please review if you like.<p> 


	5. Chapter 4

Done! Here's the next chapter for you!

Also I just wanted to say thank you for all those who have reviewed this fic so far(This includes those who've faved and followed). I appreciate it. It really helps encourage me to write :)

Now then, I hope you enjoy~

**Disclaimer: Don't own Dangan Ronpa. Never have. Never will.**

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chapter 4- Not Worth It<strong>

It wasn't until I decided to enter middle school that I had finally figured out my good luck.

For most of my childhood since the death of my parents, I assumed that I was just an omen for the people around me because I was never affected by any of bad stuff happening to me. In fact, everything seemed to be on the positive side for me.

I started to notice little things that I had happened to come by. Always being the first in line to stuff, finding money while walking on the streets, getting free things just for being at the right place at the right time, and so forth. I never really notice those types of stuff.

Then occasionally, there were those bigger incidents that occurred. Things like potted plants falling from opened windows barely missing me, falling down stairs only to come out perfectly fine, and most of all, the constantly escaping death scenarios. . .Those usually ended up with others dying in some way.

For example, one time I was running late and had missed the train. I had to wait for the next one. However, that didn't happen because the train that I had just missed derailed and crashed; killing and injuring a lot of people. All the trains were shut down due to the accident.

There was another case when I was at a convenience store. I was in a line of three people and the person in front of me allowed me to cut in front of her. Not wanting to be rude, I thanked her and did as she said. I bought my item and as I was about to exit the store, I moved out of the way to let someone go through the door first. I was only a few yards away before I heard gunshots. The man I had passed by when I was leaving was robbing the store. The woman who had let me cut in front of her had a bullet wound through her head.

At home, it wasn't any better. On my eleventh birthday, one of the new cooks that I have hired recently decided to bake me a birthday cake. I was happy that someone actually wanted to do something for my birthday. I remember eating almost half the cake. It was delicious and I ask him if he could teach me how to make one. He said yes. Afterwards, I wanted to help him clean up by putting some things back in storage or in the freezer but he told that he would take care of it and I went to bed.

The next morning however, the servants found him in the walk-in freezer dead. Apparently he was accidentally locked inside the whole night. After that, all of my servants couldn't take it anymore and quit. They had enough. That was fine. I didn't care anymore. I let them go; giving them their last paycheck as they walked out the door.

I had finally gotten used to being alone by now.

Even when I decided to attend public school, I tended to keep to myself in the corner of the classroom. I didn't bother making friends anymore. My classmates learned to stay away from me. They even titled me the "School's Shinigami", which wasn't really far from the truth but it still hurt to be called that. Most of the time I would just observe them; seeing what they were doing and overhearing what was going on in their lives; their dreams of the future. Along the way though, even when they hated me, I had soon grown to hope that my fellow classmates would reach their destined goals. Hoped they would face the obstacles they were dealing with. Hoped they would succeed. I inwardly rooted them on.

As for me, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I didn't see myself with an interesting future like my classmates. I had no goals to achieve. Besides, I was loaded. I didn't need a job or anything to help support me.

After school, I always came home to an empty mansion. I didn't bother going out. I usually just stared up at my ceiling bored out of my mind. But it gave me a lot of time to think. It mostly had to do with the miraculous stuff I've been in.

I started to get annoyed of it actually. I began to hate escaping these near-death situations; frustrated at trying to figure out how I could have survived this long. Airplane crashes, train accidents, shootings, HOW THE HELL AM I STILL ALIVE?! It bugged me to no end and I was just so sick of it. Was God just playing a game? Wanting to see how long I can make it out of these freak accidents? Was I really that important to be kept alive? If that's the case, then why involve the people around me? Why sacrifice their lives to save mine?

"What's preventing me from dying anyway?" I asked myself for multiple nights. "It's got to be something. I just don't know what."

Well, whatever it was. It saved my life yet again. This time, it was during junior high and I was around 12 or 13 years old.

A lot of the students at my school lately were all talking about this serial killer that was on the loose. They said that this killer would kidnap children and hold them ransom. If he didn't get the certain amount of money he wanted, the child's body would be found mutilated the next day. It was causing a huge panic as three victims were already discovered around our area. The teachers had instructed us that we should all walk in groups to and from school and that we shouldn't be alone; that we should be accompanied by friends or family if we were going out.

Hehe well, I guess that's why I was such a perfect target seeing as I had none of those things.

It was pretty sudden too. I was walking to school one morning when he came up from behind me; shoving a piece of chloroform-soaked cloth on my mouth. Of course, I went unconscious. I later woke gagged and blindfolded; both my hands and feet tied up.

I heard his footsteps coming towards me. He knelt down and whispered into my ear. His hot breath made my whole body shudder. I gasped as he roughly pulled my hair; lifting me up so I can hear him perfectly.

"I wonder how much you're gonna be worth for me kid. From your uniform, it looks like you go to a pretty rich private school. So maybe 100 yen? 200? No, 300 million yen! Hehehe! Well, if not. . .I'm sure I'll have some fun gutting you like a fish! Don't worry, I'll make sure it'll be long and painful as possible. Then I'll dump your dismembered body in front of your school gates for everyone to see."

All I could do was muffle a whimper through my gag. He seemed to enjoy my discomfort and I felt his wet tongue lick my cheek slowly. I felt so disgusted.

"I'll make sure you're turned into a masterpiece. It's gonna be great!"

With that, he dropped me back to the floor. I heard him leave; laughing to himself.

Was I scared? Obviously. I mean, the dreaded serial killer I kept hearing about has taken me for ransom and if he didn't get his money I'll be killed. I think this was just as scary as the hijacking incident. I wanted to cry but at the same time I also wanted to roll my eyes.

'How could this be happening again?'

It wasn't just fear and annoyance that I felt in this situation. I also felt hope.

Was it the hope that I was going to make it out alive like all the other times? . . .Yes, but I also had hope for the exact opposite. This could be the day where I actually do die. After escaping death so many times, I wanted this man to just get it over with and kill me. I already knew that no one was going to pay for my ransom so my chances of getting murdered was pretty high. Surely I wasn't going to get away this time!

After a few hours, he came back no doubt frustrated that he wasn't going to get any money from me. I could hear the sound of things being thrown about. The killer grunts and yells in the background. It's as if he was a child throwing a temper tantrum because he couldn't get what he wanted. Finally, he came up to me and took my gag off. He probably wanted to hear my agonizing screams once he decided to finally kill me.

Hesitantly I asked, "A-are you going to kill me now?"

Instead, he just picks me up off the ground and carried me somewhere.

"No," he replied coldly.

I was confused. I didn't get it. I really didn't. No? Did he just say no? Well why not? HE'S A SERIAL KILLER! Serial killers kill their victims regardless of anything. Most do it for the sake of killing; because it feels good for them right? Was I wrong? What made me an exception? Didn't, just a few hours ago, this guys was talking about how he was going to enjoy cutting me up if he didn't get the money? What happened? What changed his mind?

As he set me down, I asked him one more question. I just needed to know. . .

"Why?"

There was silence for about a minute and then he answered.

**"Because you're not worth it."**

Then, he knocked me out again.

When I came to, I heard the voices of policemen searching for me. There was this terrible odor all around me. I tried to move but my hands and feet were still tied. I also felt like I was trapped inside some bag with other contents stuffed inside it. Trying to move the ropes off my hands, I felt something get stuck between them. A piece of paper?

Well, because I was making so much noise from struggling so much the policemen finally found me.

"We found him!"

"Are you alright?"

"C'mon get him out of there."

My binds and blindfold came off. I turned around to see what I was trapped inside.

It was large garbage bag.

Ahahaha! Fitting isn't it? That worthless trash like me was inside a garbage bag. It's where I belong after all! Anyways. . .

I looked down at the piece of paper in my hand to see that it was a lottery ticket. I stuffed it inside my pocket and was taken into police custody. They never did find the killer though.

After a few hours of questioning, they decided I was allowed to go home. It was really late by the time I got out of there. Remembering the lottery ticket I found, I went to the nearest opened store to see how much was on it. I wasn't surprised at what happened next.

"OH MY GOD! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU WON 300 MILLION YEN!" the cashier girl screamed out. "You certainly are one lucky kid aren't you?" she commented.

". . ."

When I came home, I didn't bother cleaning off the dirt on me or changing my clothes. I just went up to my room and stood there in silence. Finally after a few minutes, I spoke into the darkness.

". . .Yes."

A smile formed on my face.

"Yes! Yes, YOU'RE CERTAINLY RIGHT!"

I chuckled to myself. "But why? That guy. . .He didn't kill me. He said it was because I wasn't worth it. I WASN'T WORTH IT! TO BE GUTTED?! TO BE KILLED?! I wasn't worth dying. He put me in a trash bag instead. Am I that worthless that I'm just considered garbage? Pathetic garbage that not even a serial killer would end me?! Now I see. . .hehehe. . .That's what I am. I'm just a useless piece of disgusting trash. I deserve no less after everything that has happened! Oh, but why. Why does it always end in something good for me?"

_"__It's frightening how lucky that boy is; to not even get hurt by any of the horrible things he puts himself or others in."_

_"__You sure are lucky! It still baffles me that a child like you survived something like that."_

_"__You certainly are one lucky kid aren't you?"_

"Right. . . that must be it. All those terrible situations I've been in, they were just foreshadowing it. They were all foreshadowing the good luck that would follow after. Finding out the servants' secret after my dog died, getting the inheritance and freedom after the crash, winning the lottery after being kidnapped by a serial killer, all those miseries would result in the fortunes I gained in the end! All the rewards and money I've received, all the accidents I survived, all the sacrifices made so I can live, all of them were from luck! I never was cursed! I'm just lucky! It was always luck! The only reason trash like me is still alive after all this is because of luck! This good luck! **MY** **GOOD LUCK**!"

I started laughing so hard as if I heard a really funny joke. My heart was beating so fast like it was about to burst. I couldn't breathe anymore but I didn't stop.

It hurt. It hurt so much.

"No. . ."

Even when my vision was getting blurry from the tears falling down my cheeks, I didn't stop laughing. It was excruciating.

"WHY?!" I finally screamed. "Why this luck? Why these circumstances? Why their deaths? Why kill them but not me? Why any of these things in the first place? What did I ever do to deserve this? I don't understand! It isn't fair!"

I looked up in anger. "Why!" I yelled out to whatever forces that were up there who were punishing me. "I'm sorry okay! For whatever I did, please forgive me! Just please! I'm so sick and tired of all this! Please just tell me why!"

I stopped yelling and listened.

No response, just silence. I chuckled at how ridiculous it was, thinking I would actually get an answer. I became so exhausted.

"Hahaha...what's wrong with me?"

I felt pain everywhere on my body. I fell to the floor and just sobbed. It felt like I had fallen into despair.

"Why can't I just die?"

* * *

><p>Thank you for reading and review if you like.<p> 


	6. Bonus

Hi guys! Here's a just very short little bonus from Chapter 4.

**Disclaimer: Do I own Dangan Ronpa? Hehe nope.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4.5- The Overall Outcome<strong>

You'd think that I would have just done it myself and ended it by that point, right? Ahaha yes well, that wasn't the case. . .

I actually did try to kill myself plenty of times but it usually ended in failure.

When I tried to hang myself with rope, or whatever thing that was wrapped around my neck, it would snap off.

When I tried to electrocute myself in the bathtub, there would always be a sudden black out.

When I tried to poison myself or shallow a bunch of pills, I vomited it all out a few minutes later no matter how hard I tried to keep it in my stomach.

When I tried to jump off a bridge or building, something would snag on my clothes preventing me from falling.

When I tried to slit my wrists, no matter how deep the wound was, the blood would quickly dry up.

When I tried to shoot myself, the gun would get jammed.

It was no use. It wouldn't let me do it.

No matter what, it seemed that my good luck was never on my side when it came to those types of things. I had practically, and sort of humorously, become immortal. To be honest, my good luck was in the right stopping my younger self. I mean, how idiotic, how utterly pathetic, and crazy was I?

Ah, how expected of worthless, incompetent human being like me trying to do something like that. To try and end it all before I even got the chance to witness the amazing events that I would soon be thrust into in the future. To be able to witness those talented embodiments that I love struggle to survive for the sake of their beautiful hope! And to serve as their helping hand by kick starting the seeds of hope inside them; guiding them from their despair and towards the direction of that one, true path! Why would I miss that? It would be INSANE for me to die before all that!

Haha~ It's truly thanks to my good luck I was saved all those times. It saved me so I could be a part of it. And all I had to do was wait!

It's glorious! Incredible! To be able to witness and take part in the creation of Absolute Hope!

I wouldn't miss it for the world!

* * *

><p>Alrighty then!<p>

So guys, first off, I want to tell you all that there is only one more chapter left for this fic and then I'll be going onto part 2 of this series(I told you this what going to be short). What I can tell you so far is that Part 2 will be taking place during the events of Super Dangan Ronpa 2 in, of course, Komaeda's perspective. I'll add more information for Part 2 most likely in the last chapter. Speaking of which, I'll hopefully post Chapter 5 next weekend, but again it'll depend on my school work(the last 2 weeks were pretty easy for me).

That's all for now and thank you for reading~


	7. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dangan Ronpa, it's as simple as that.**

Well my dear readers, here's the second to last chapter of this story.

Yeah, I said second to last. . .hehe. . .

First of all, I'm sorry I'm late posting this. I was busy this week and this chapter itself took awhile to finish. Also, I realized that the final chapter was VERY long so I decided to separate them into two parts so that you guys aren't reading so much in one go. Sadly, that also means we're not done with this story yet. . .

Okay then!

I had mentioned that this story is part of a series containing 3 acts. Now, I'll be starting on Act 2 which will be called **The Desire of Hope in the Talentless Form of Luck **(long title I know) once I finish posting the second half. As I've stated before in the last chapter, the story will be taking place during the events of Super Dangan Ronpa 2 in Komaeda's perspective with other added "stuff"(gonna be vague here). Some of the dialogue for the characters will probably be from the English or fansub translation especially from a *certain* chapter in the game but of course I won't be doing a copy-and-paste sort of thing with it. Then it wouldn't really be a fanfic if I did that.

For now, I'm not sure how many chapters that fic will be but it will be longer than Act 1. I'm thinking about 10 chapters or so, including Bonus chapters. Speaking of some bonus chapters; these can stem from the Free-time Events or some things I decide to add into the story. Also on another note, regarding the characters of Komaeda and Hinata, I want to know how you guy feel about Komahina.

This series will focus on some things between the relationship of the two because I believe Komaeda's feelings for Hinata is a very important aspect for his character. I'm not going to divert from the canon of the game however I would like to know whether you mind Komahina love or friendship more. I don't really mind either way but it will be something I wish to establish in later chapters and I would like your guys' opinions about it.

If you do not like Komahina, that's perfectly fine but from here on out, there will be a few chapters focusing on the two. As I said before in the prologue however, Act 1 can act as a separate story from the series. So you don't have to read Act 2 if you wish to do so.

The second half of this chapter will be posted sometime later this week. Sorry guys, please be patient with me.

Well then, I don't want to keep you guys waiting, so let's get this show on the road. Shall we? I hope you enjoy~

* * *

><p><span><strong>Chapter<strong>** 5- Part 1: The Letter**

I gave up.

It was wearing me out. I had tried many times to kill myself after that day.

But every time, it was failure after failure after failure. It was no use so I just gave up. What was the point? Why waste the energy when I knew I would live in the end?

It never surprised anymore when I got into dangerous accidents. I knew something good would come out of it anyway so I just waited for it. Whenever I dodged a truck or freed myself out of a subway collapse or anything really, the constant thought was always in my mind.

'Alright, what was it going to be this time? More money? More rewards? More sacrifices?'

I soon began to feel numb over any of the deaths I might of caused. The body count just kept rising and feeling constant guilt for the lives of these strangers wasn't going to help anyone. Restless days and nights remembering their painful, agonizing screams became white noise.

There was no point bothering myself about these tragedies anymore. The end result remained the same.

It became boring.

Being alive was what mattered to my good luck. For what reason, I didn't know.

It was a tough battle I fought, but I was defeated.

In the beginning I tried to embrace my good luck. I wanted to see the positive side of it. I wanted to be lucky in the things I wanted. So I decided to experiment on my good luck.

First, I tried it out at school in order to become closer to my classmates. I tried to get into their conversations; talking about things that they liked. I went to students that needed help on their homework and I tried to offer them my notes. During lunch, I would ask multiple groups if I could sit with them. Of course, all of them didn't want anything to do with the "School's Shinigami" and coldly pushed me away.

I took the liberty of telling them I wasn't a "shinigami." I tried to explain to them that the things that happened around me were just out of sheer luck and I didn't mean them any harm; hoping they wouldn't misunderstand anymore. I wanted them to have faith in me; to find hope in me. I thought they'd understand but what I said seemed to alienate me even more.

_"Stay away from us Creep!"_

_"You really are a weirdo."_

_"We're sick of seeing your face all the time"_

_"Just go and die you freak!"_

So I guess that didn't work out so well but it was expected since no one with the right mind would want to be near worthless trash such as myself. I took the verbal abuse with ease. A lot of the insults they said didn't hurt me as much as they did before because even though I couldn't agree more with them, for some reason I found them. . .inferior.

Afterwards, I tried out other experiments where I wanted to see if I could use my luck at will but nothing. In the end, I concluded that I couldn't control my good luck. It controlled me. This had triggered the string of multiple suicide attempts I did, which obviously didn't work.

By the time I finished junior high, I was completely worn out because of my good and bad luck. But I didn't care anymore. For a long period of time, I didn't care about anything really. I had stopped getting angry, sad, happy. . .I was just so tired, both mentally and physically. There was nothing I wanted to do with my life; nothing I wanted that this world could have offered me that wasn't already taken from me. My family, the possibility of having friends, my chances of dying by my own accord, my purpose in life. . .all of them taken away.

So I would just live day by day without any purpose or motivation. In general, I was waiting to die. It had to happen someday so I just waited until that time would come. In the meantime, I continued life as an empty shell; sort of a mindless puppet being held up by strings.

But recently, a lot of strange things were happening to me. And that's saying something!

The first thing was that I had shortness of breath; as if I had finished running a marathon. That was kind of worrying. My appetite started to decrease. Then I suddenly got these rashes that I couldn't stop scratching. At night, I would sweat a lot which got really disgusting and a lot of times, I would get these terrible fevers. I thought maybe because my home was so big with very little maintenance, that I was getting sick because of my unclean environment. I started a heavy routine of keeping a good personal hygiene which somehow escalated to the point of scrubbing my bathroom from top to bottom everyday.

My memory was becoming unreliable as well but I had only assumed it was because my lack of sleep that, I too, was also having. There were times where I would say something when I meant something else.

Oh, and that's another thing I need to mention!

Whenever I got involved in conversations with people, they would start giving me these angered or confused looks. Sometimes they would get offended, telling me I was being rude or hurtful or something. I didn't get what they meant. I had difficulty trying to understand what I said that made them so mad. Although, most of the time I shrugged it off. I already didn't bother with what people thought of me by this point. I had already agreed with them that I was lowly scum so I lost care with wanting to make them change their opinions of me.

Lastly, there was this constant urge I was craving.

The problem was that I couldn't figure out what this urge even was. I was obsessed with it and the thought of it refused to go away. It kept nagging me, eating at me day and night that I was so irritated at how I couldn't put a name to whatever it was. I thought my luck cycle was always on my mind. This obsession was on a whole other level!

So, what did I do about these weird conditions I was having? Nothing.

Oh no, not because of the fact that I didn't care about my life anymore; that might have been part of the reason, but because I myself didn't realize or even know that those things were actually happening to me. I was so oblivious it wasn't even funny.

On the contrary, even if I did know, I was certain that something good was bound to happen to me after all this. The endless nights of me coughing my guts out and the painful fevers were all part of something fortunate waiting to occur. It had to be something big because I was having these conditions for weeks now. So if it just ended up with me getting another 300 million yen, I was going to be REALLY disappointed.

For the following weeks, I didn't go see a doctor. However, you can only be unaware of it for so long that sooner or later you were bound to finally notice. On the other hand, I think I would have been either too tired or too lazy to go. I would just deal with it.

It was not until my teacher and the school doctor finally forced me to get checked up at the hospital because of my constant coughing and itching disrupting class-time. So there I was, sitting alone in the checkup room. I was forced to answer their questions that I really couldn't answer. I had been put under multiple tests, x-rays, and brain scans and now I was waiting for the doctor to come back with the results.

I already figured it out long before all the tests that it had to be something bad. My conclusion was confirmed when the doctor had finally came in and tried to talk to me in a gentle and comforting tone.

'This doctor must have perfected the art of bad news giver,' I thought to myself.

"Mister Komaeda," the doctor said in a soft voice. "I have the results of your diagnosis and. . .I'm terribly sorry to inform you but it doesn't look good. The results of your CT, MRI, and PET scans show. . ."

Malignant Lymphoma in its third stage and concurrent Frontotemporal Dementia. . . That's what he said. Ah, this really is probably one of the worst of the bad lucks. Not only do I have cancer, but it seems that my brain is slowly rotting away into nothingness. . .killing me?

"What's the life expectancy?" I asked in the middle of his explanations. I noticed my voice sounded very dull; bored. Very void of any feeling even after hearing such news.

"W-wha. . .Oh, well," He said clearing his voice. "For Frontotemporal Dementia, the life expectancy could be from between two to ten years. Some individuals with dementia could also live up to more than that."

He then sighed and shook his head.

"Unfortunately," he said in such a grave manner. "Because of also having Lymphoma, this has affected your life expectancy very drastically. I'm not going to lie but this is very severe. From the results, I would give you about six to twelve months. . .I'm very sorry."

So at most, I'll be alive until the following year.

"Mister Komaeda? If it'll help, there are treatments that could prolong the life expectancy. If you would like, I could organize a plan form you. We can also prescribe you when some medication, set you up in a therapy treatment, we could also-"

"No thank you."

I got up from my seat and headed towards the door.

"What?" the doctor said surprised. "W-well let me schedule for you another appointment so we could check on your progress. Please let us help-"

"Don't bother," I said closing the door behind me.

On the walk home, I tried to figure out what kind of emotion I was supposed to feel in this situation. There was no sadness or emotional turmoil. My body was numb, but not in a way that was bad. . .neutral? Maybe. I felt nothing. No, not nothing. . .content? Relief? Probably. It felt satisfying knowing that I wasn't immortal anymore.

As satisfied as I was, at the same time, I really didn't like it.

"I hate this. I hate this. I HATE THIS! For the last few years I have been trying numerous times to kill myself but my luck wouldn't let me. Now I find out I'm going to die in less than a year? To think my luck deemed me immortal when it came to suicide when in the end I was just going to die anyway from something out of my control. A joke. My whole life was a joke! I was constantly kept me alive just to be tormented to finally knowing I was going to die with the addition of two terrible diseases slapped on for last minute kicks. This really bites! Goddammit! Just kill me already!"

"And blah blah blah blah blah~" Ah, that's what I'd probably say if I actually STILL troubled myself about stuff like that. I had already become accustomed to this sort of thing that I really shouldn't complain anymore. If I did, I would be even more pathetic and pitiful than I already was! So really, I was hoping I would survive this.

I'm serious! I had this gut feeling I was going to make it through this. I don't know why but seeing as I expected to survive most things it would be surprising that I would die before the year was up. So to be honest, I couldn't bring myself to believe my life expectancy was going to be that short. Strange isn't it? I've been so devoid of caring about my life; waiting for it to be over, only to not want to die when death is finally at my doorstep. I have to admit that is pretty confusing for me too.

The truth was that yes, part of me didn't like this new misfortune I was having. Who would want to have their brain deteriorating or, in general, want cancer? But my only problem for it was my good luck. I wanted to know if my good luck would still be in play after all this. Was my bad luck finally over?

The thing that I didn't like was that if I was going to die soon, I wanted to know if something amazing was going to happen before that. That's what was getting on my nerves; not knowing if that was the end of my good luck. It's annoying. I really wanted to live long enough to see if or when that good outcome will show.

In all, I was feeling relief and mostly anxious. 'What will it be? It has to be something I have never before experienced; something absolutely beautiful!'

This was the first time in a while that I found something I could look forward to in this life. With misfortune as big as anything I ever had in my life, something out of this world was going to happen! That sudden unnamed urge was coming back.

After a few hours just hanging out around the city, I went home. As I was about to push the keys into the door's lock, I noticed something sticking out of my mail slot.

"Oh, mail," I commented as I reached down to pull it out of the slot. I went inside and closed the door behind me.

'Hmm, I wonder who it's from.' It was a big envelope with a symbol or insignia on it. 'Looks official,' I thought. 'From a company maybe? I think I've seen this emblem somewhere before.'

Carefully, with much anticipation, I opened up the envelope and read it's contents.

It was an acceptance letter.

* * *

><p><em>Mr. Nagito Komaeda,<em>

_Congratulations._

_We at Hope's Peak Academy have selected by lottery a single candidate from a pool of average students. Your name was chosen, and so we invite you to join us this year as the 77th Class's **Super Duper High School Luckster**._

_You will find an informational packet detailing everything you need to know about the enrollment process included with this notice._

_We hope to be able to work with you very soon._

_Sincerely ,_

_Headmaster Jin Kirigiri_

* * *

><p>"...Hope's Peak...Academy?"<p>

I knew I saw that symbol somewhere before but this was...unexpected. Really unexpected actually. In fact, it was as if my news about my diseases was just a footnote compared to this. I was so confused and shocked at what I was reading.

This letter was from the headmaster of the most renowned and prestigious Hope's Peak Academy. A government-funded high school that holds the most elite students in society. The top students from every imaginable field. The most talented. The best of the best. It's those types of student that go there.

Average, everyday people would state that "if you come here and manage to graduate, you'll be set for life." Because of this, students who attend Hope's Peak are worshiped, but also envied for such high praise.

From what I remember, there is no entrance exam required and students are only admitted if they are currently a high school student and that they are the very best at their chosen field. This is because students are scouted by faculty members of the school, whom were all most likely previous Hope's Peak alumni.

The school's main goal is to find and nurture talent in order to inspire hope. To shape the future.

A school that deserved to be called the School of Hope.

Yet. . .why is this letter telling me that such a school would want me to attend as a student?

"This can't be right."

I kept reading the letter over and over again until I was certain that I was reading this correctly. A lottery? I was chosen? **Super Duper High School Luckster?**

I didn't know how to react to this. I had to admit, the title of being the ultimate luckster sure did fit me(I'm actually rather happy that this school acknowledged the fact that was just lucky), incredibly so, but should my luck really be considered a talent? If so, it's a pretty pathetic talent. Perfect for pathetic little me.

This was certainly a stroke of amazing good luck and a great coincidence that I was chosen as this year's luckster and I should be absolutely thrilled.

But for some reason, it felt off.

To be in a school full of such talented and elite group of students, someone as lowly and worthless as me doesn't deserve to learn among the best of the best; much less be in their mere presence.

Besides, if I were to go, who knows what will happen to that beloved school and their beloved students. It scared me. I couldn't possibly let Hope's Peak make the mistake in accepting someone like me. The outcome would end in disaster for them.

I had to decline their offer. I just had to.

I rushed over to the phone and dialed the school immediately.

_. . .Briiing. . .Briiing. . .Brii- _"Hello," a woman's voice answered. "Hope's Peak Academy Administration Office. How my I help-"

"Yes!" I said, interrupting her. "This is Hope's Peak Academy right? My name is Komaeda Nagito. I had just gotten this acceptance letter from the school?"

On the other line, I head the sound of typing on a keyboard.

"Ah, Mr. Komaeda!" she said enthusiastically. "I'm glad you received our letter. You will attending as this year's **Super Duper High School Luckster** right? Let me add your name to the school's student list then."

"No!" I practically shouted into the phone. "No. Thank you for the offer but I actually wish to decline my acceptance please."

"What?" The woman said sounding shock. "Oh no no no. That's not what we want to hear. Mr. Komaeda, is there any reason why you wish to decline?"

There were plenty of reasons why. But mostly because of what they wanted from me. My luck.

I feared for them. I feared for what it will do. It would be my fault.

"I don't have to say anything," I said. "Please, I just don't want to attend this school. That's all."

"Mr. Komaeda," the woman said sternly. "As much as I wish to obliged to your choice, I unfortunately cannot do anything about this."

"And why is that?" I said frustratingly.

"Please listen to me Mr. Komaeda. Each year we must have a class luckster. We need to research luck. We need to research you."

Research? What does she mean?

"I don't understand."

There was a slight pause in her reply. She sighed as if I was bothering her.

"Even if you wish to decline our offer, that is up to the chairman and the professors of the school to decide. In any case Mr. Komaeda, for now, please hold onto your decision and read the informational packet we gave you. We apologize for the inconvenience however expect a reply from us tomorrow. We'll have someone come over to explain the information to you in more detail."

"But I. . .sigh. . .alright," I said, defeated. I really didn't what to have an argument over the phone. Today was stressing enough as it is.

"Thank you Mr. Komaeda. Have a nice day."

With that, she hung up. I was disappointed. Angry and scared at the same time. Was being chosen really that important? Why do I not have the choice in the matter whether I want to go or not? I was getting a migraine. I needed to calm down.

Slowly, I hung up the phone and walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water.

As I sat down, I looked over at the informational packet, picked it up, and began to read it.

For some reason, that unnamed urge grew.

* * *

><p><strong><em>To be continued. . .<em>**

* * *

><p>Gosh, Part 1 done! Further apologizes for possibly portraying Komaeda's illnesses incorrectly. Anyways. . .<p>

Thank you for reading and please review (especially for your opinions concerning Komahina) ~


	8. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I know it. You know it. Dangan Ronpa? I don't own it. **

Welp! Here's the second half of chapter 5 and, for sure, it is the final chapter of Hope's Reconstruction Act 1.

I'll tell you, these two last chapters were difficult to work on. But I finished it and it's ready for my dear readers to see!

Also, in regards to when I will be posting up Act 2. . .

I'll be taking a few weeks off because I'll be ending my first semester in college soon and I would like to focus on my school work. I would also like to have the time to plan out the chapters for this series. I'll most likely post the first chapter of part 2 sometime around December or January so please stay tuned.

Now, I think it's time that we end this story right? Overall, I want to thank you to all my readers and I appreciate all the support I was given.

Finally, without further adieu, I hope you enjoy.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter 6- Part 2: Hope<span>**

It was around 2 in the afternoon when he came over the next day.

The headmaster of Hope's Peak Academy.

"Mr. Komaeda, it is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Jin Kirigiri. May I come in?"

I allowed him in and sat him down in my father's old study. Not wanting to be rude, I poured him a cup of tea and handed it to him.

"Thank you," he said.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes as he took sips of his tea.

I was so nervous. The very presence of him; this individual who runs the school of talent and hope, made me nervous. Feeling so low compared to a man like him, I couldn't dare look at him straight in the eyes and kept my head down. My hands clenched tightly on my lap; beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Finally, the principal placed his cup down and cleared his throat.

"So Mr. Komaeda," he said. "I heard from one of my administrative staff that you wish to decline your acceptance into Hope's Peak Academy."

"Ah! Y-yes!" My voice was shaky. 'Calm down! Calm down!' I screamed in my head.

"Mr. Kirigiri, Sir, I appreciate such an amazing offer but I can't accept it.

Mr. Kirigiri eyebrows rose. "Yes, I recall her telling me that. I also heard you didn't want to explain to her why however. Care to explain now?"

"Well I. . ."

How was I going to tell him my answer without sounding crazy? I sat there for a few seconds pondering. I needed to think my words carefully.

"You wouldn't want someone like me in your school. I'm just an average high school student," I said defensively. "Besides, luck isn't really a talent anyway. At least, not my luck."

Mr. Kirigiri shook his head in disagreement. "On the contrary," he said. "Luck is a very special talent. It's one of our most important talents at our school. And I will say, you are no longer an 'average high school student' with a talent like yours."

My lips formed a tight line. 'That's not true,' I thought in denial.

"You seem nervous Mr. Komaeda," Mr. Kirigiri said. "It's alright to be open with me."

I slowing nodded and took a deep breath.

"You wouldn't want my luck. . .because you see. . .it's. . .rather extreme. It causes a lot of good things to happen, but it also makes bad things happen as well. I'm sorry if it sounds confusing. . ."

"Mr. Komaeda, we are already aware of the kind of luck you possess."

"Huh?" I looked up at him confused.

"When Hope's Peak Academy select our students, we make sure we look into their backgrounds to ensure if they are really the best in their given fields," Mr. Kirigiri explained. "The same goes for you when you and the previous class lucksters were chosen from that lottery."

My fists clenched even tighter.

"So," I said with a shy, nervous grin. "I guess you know a few things that happened to me in the past I presume?"

He hummed in response. He seemed to have a look of pity or sadness in his eyes. "It's unfortunate that you had to endure many terrible incidents at such a young age. My condolences for your parents by the way."

I shook my head. "No, no it's alright. It was a long time ago after all."

"In any case," he continued. "From what we've gathered, you definitely deserve the title of Luckster Mr. Komaeda. Surviving multiple accidents, your increasing amount of wealth, living through that kidnapping incident during your second year of junior high, and even the sole fact that you were chosen in our lottery. Based on what we've read, without a doubt, those are not just coincidences and you know already why. Am I correct?"

I nodded in agreement. Of course I knew. As I had said when I first received the letter. No one's a better choice for the title except me.

The principal took one last sip of his tea and looked at me with determination. "I must say I'm impressed. Your luck is the most extraordinary and extreme case we've ever seen. Hope's Peak needs a talent such as yours."

I gulped. What he said was true, that my luck was amazing. However, even through he was trying his best to convince me to attend the school, my thoughts, my past, and my fear told me otherwise. I stood up from my chair and shook my head.

"But Sir!" I yelled. I didn't want to shout at him but he needed to understand. "Since you know about what happened to me, you should know that my luck is a danger to your school. Please, I wish to decline the acceptance! I. . .I couldn't bare it if something were to happen if I was a student there. Please just choose another student to have the title. I just can't. . ."

The room was silent except for the sound of my heavy breathing. Mr. Kirigiri just sat there staring at me unfazed. After for what seemed like eternity, he gave a long sigh and pinched the bridge of nose.

"I understand your distress Mr. Komaeda. But having you decline is something I cannot do."

Slowly, I sat back down. "Explain."

"Hope's Peak Academy chooses a Luckster in a lottery every year. It is important that whoever is chosen is the one and only person who receives that title. If we simply allowed you to decline and chose another person from the lottery, that doesn't make that person lucky out of talent. They were lucky because of circumstances. It's the talent of that one and true luck that we need to research in our school."

I scratched my chin in wonder. "Research?" I questioned. "The woman I was talking to yesterday said something similar. My luck being research? What do you mean?"

Mr. Kirigiri looked shocked for a moment. "Oh, you don't know. I believe the informational packet informed you about it didn't it?"

I looked away feeling a tad embarrassed. "Um yes, I did read it however I didn't really understand the whole researching talent, at least, how my luck could be researched. Isn't that impossible?"

The principal nodded; understanding my confusion. "From what you've read, Hope's Peak is not only a learning facility for it's students. It is a place where talent is researched. The teachers there aren't just for teaching. They are scientists whom cooperate and work with the students in order to study and enhance their talents further. We do this so that we will one day create a better future."

'For the sake of a brighter future. . .' I thought to myself. The troublesome feeling crept into my mind. My breathing slightly increased.

'There's that urge again.'

I tried to ignore the feeling in order to pay attention to Mr. Kirigiri as he continued his explanation.

"For a few years now, our staff have been trying to figure out the talent of luck and I admit, it has been difficult. But in order to achieve that goal, we have to solve and nurture every single talent from every field. Luck has been one of the most challenging talents that we've ever studied. However, we have a breakthrough. . . And we believe it's you."

"Eh?"

"As I said before, you're luck is a very a special case. Out of all the previous class lucksters we've research, we are very must interested in understanding your's. For luck as extreme as your's, if we were able to finally solve this talent, no doubt the school will be one step closer in the right direction. Maybe helping you even. And also. . .it's crucial that you need to attend as soon as possible before it's too late."

'As soon as possible? Oh, I see,' I thought. 'Wow, they sure do get their information rather quickly.'

I smiled sadly. "I assume you found out about my diagnosis?"

"Yes," he answered. "That's why we implore you to attend this year before. . .I'm sorry, Komaeda but we need your talent. We need to figure it out. It's what Hope's Peak Academy needs right now. It has to be you."

I didn't say anything. What was I suppose to say? No matter how many times I would try to decline, they'll keep begging and begging me. And, I don't blame them. Hope's Peak is such a special school and what they are doing there is marvelous. Their work. Their goal. Their ambition. All of it is absolutely marvelous. And they need to research my luck for that hope. So why shouldn't I help them out? I felt so honored at what Mr. Kirigiri said.

I felt. . .special even for such an inferior person like myself. To hear that the idea of trash like me could help them made me feel an incredible sense of happiness. . .But I didn't know what to do. I couldn't make up my mind.

I still believe that my luck is such a pathetic talent compared to other known talents, and that I shouldn't be considered an Ultimate. Not to mention, Mr. Kirigiri wasn't bothering about how dangerous I was. My luck cycle was bad news, however they didn't care. They needed that luck.

I wanted so much to appeal to their wishes so badly. Urgh, I was so frustrated. Conflicted. It was like my mind was going around in circles; debating back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. . .No.

"Are you alright Mr. Komaeda?" Mr. Kirigiri questioned but I didn't answer. I was drowning in my thoughts.

'Now that I think about it. . .'

"Mr. Komaeda?" The man said with a bit of worry in his voice.

'. . .despite what I think about my luck, there's no use fighting is there?'

"It seems that it was a mistake to talk to you about this now," he said sounding exhausted. "I'm sorry to have stressed you even further, especially with your condition. Forgive me for troubling you," Mr. Kirigiri got up from his chair. "I'll leave for now. Excuse me."

'I wanted to help those students. I wanted to help this talent-filled school. And I could. I really shouldn't be selfish right now.'

"Mr. Kirigiri," I said weakly. Mr. Kirigiri stopped; surprised to hear me speak.

"Yes Mr. Komaeda?"

I looked at the man with tired yes. "I don't have much of a choice in the matter of my decision do I?"

He looked down from my gaze and slowly shook his head. "I'm afraid you don't."

Without saying anything, I smiled passively at him. He got the message.

'This school is so important. It deserves whatever it needs to inspire **Hope**.'

Knowing that seemed to make a bit of my fears disappear. I felt reassurance.

I licked my lips; taking a deep breath.

"So," I said. "What's going to happen when I become a student at Hope's Peak?"

The headmaster sat back down and cleared his throat.

"Well, once you're admitted into Hope's Peak Academy, you'll be placed in the 77th class where you will begin your studies while living on campus. Everything will be provided to you for free. During your time in school, you'll not only be attending classes like regular schools but, of course, you'll have multiple sessions where you will work with the scientists in order to research your talent. Every student is required to do so. You understand so far?"

"Mmhm," I nodded. "Continue please."

"Yes. Furthermore, in regards to your dementia and Lymphoma, our school will provide regular check-ups with you to monitor your health, which you will be required to participate in. No exceptions. You will be taken care of by our medical staff and even some of your fellow students whose talents involve those certain fields. In fact, there will be a student attending school the same year as you are in. His title is the **Super Duper High School Neurologist** and you'll be having multiple appointments with him. This will not only be in order to try and find a cure for dementia, but also to aid and enhance his talent as well."

"An Ultimate Neurologist?" I said curiously.

"Here." Mr. Kirigiri pulled out a photograph from his briefcase and handed it to me. "This is him. He's got a sharp tongue and a pretty sour personality," he chuckled a bit. "But he's definitely a genius when it comes to the brain."

I nodded and looked back at his picture. 'So he and I are going to be classmates,' I thought. 'I wonder how I could help him with his talent.'

"Now then," Mr. Kirigiri started. "Let's discuss the professors you'll be working with. . ."

* * *

><p>Mr. Kirigiri and I talked for another hour or so until he got a call saying he needed to go to another meeting.<p>

"Thank you for your time and allowing me to come over Mr. Komaeda," Mr. Kirigiri said as he headed out the door.

"Not at all." I smiled politely. "Ah, please let me walk you to your car."

Mr. Kirigiri entered inside his car and looked up at me reassuringly. "We'll make sure Hope's Peak provides you with all the help you need to make you're life easier. We also promise you that the students will be safe. In the meantime, you're schedule will be sent to you in a few weeks. If you have any other questions, feel free to contact us."

I nodded but I noticed there was a slight uneasiness in his expression.

"Thank you again Mr. Komaeda," I muttered. "And I'm sorry."

Then he drove off.

As I watched his car leave the driveway, I heard snickering coming from behind me.

"Huh?" I turned around. To my surprise, it was my neighbor whom had recently moved in the estate a few meters away from mine. But that doesn't explain the fact as to why she was here standing in front of me.

"Opps, I got caught spying hehe~ Oh well!"

The girl just stood there smiling at me. I must admit, she was very beautiful. If I recall, she was about a year younger than me and she just recently became a growing star a few months back. I think I saw her in a lot of magazines for fashion and make-up or something like that. She's pretty famous among the kids at school.

'What was she again?' I thought to myself. 'An actress? A singer? Dancer?'

Well whatever occupation she had, she stopped giggling and walked up towards me.

"Hi there neighbor!" she beamed enthusiastically.

I sort of stood there confused for a moment but I politely smiled back.

"Um, hello."

"You're Nagito Komaeda right?" she asked. "It's nice to finally meet you face to face."

She offered her manicured hand to me and I reluctantly shook it.

"Sorry I never got the chance to do so before but I was so busy with photo shoots, commercials, talk shows, and all that stuff. Being a model can be pretty hectic you know?"

I nodded. 'Ah right, now I remember. She's a model. Makes sense.'

"It's nice to meet you too," I replied back. "Junko Enoshima correct?"

"Yep!" Enoshima-san answered cheerfully. "The one and only~" She giggled while flipping her long blonde locks of hair.

She was definitely picture perfect, even for someone so young as herself. Her ideal body and face; all natural with no make-up or any body alterations whatsoever(or so I heard from her interviews), could make any other famous experienced model be put to shame. Enoshima-san also seemed to have this sort of charm that was very likable. No wonder she was able to gain so many fans shortly after her debut.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking, what are you doing in front of my place?" I asked.

"Oh right, silly me. I was just walking around the neighborhood and all, and I couldn't help but notice the symbol on that guy's car."

'That guy's car? Oh, she's talking about Mr. Kirigiri's car.'

"The man you were talking to was from Hope's Peak Academy right?" Enoshima-san questioned.

I nodded. "Ah yes. Apparently I was chosen to attend their school."

Giving a surprised yet joyful expression, she clapped at my news. "Oh wow! Hope's Peak Academy! Very impressive."

"Thank you Enoshima-san."

"That sure is something to brag about to your friends isn't it?" she said teasingly.

"Hehe yeah," I said feeling a tad uncomfortable. If only she knew I didn't have any friends to brag to. 'Nor don't I deserve them. . .'

"Ah but anyways,"she continued. "Congratulations Komaeda-kun. Or should I say Komaeda-senpai~"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"Eh?" Enoshima looked slightly offended. "What do you think I mean? Come on Komaeda-kun, you seem like a smart boy. You can figure it out."

"Senpai. . .Oh! Does that mean you're. . ."

She laughed, nodding her head. "Exactly! Hope's Peak scouted me as well to attend their school. Once I graduate junior high, you're looking at the 78th class's **Super Duper High School Supermodel**!"

I smiled at hearing her news and excitement. "I see. Congratulations to you as well Enoshima-san. The title of model sure does fit you."

"I know right!" she says in agreement. "I've always wanted to be a model ever since I was young so me going to be the Ultimate Supermodel at Hope's Peak feels great. Of course, I hope to do other stuff besides modeling there. Otherwise it'd be boring."

"You certainly do have a point there Enoshi-."

"Oh yeah that reminds me," she interrupts. "I never got to hear what you're talent is Komaeda-kun. What is it if I may ask?"

"Oh, my talent. . ." I said sort of hesitant. "Well. . .you see. . .my talent isn't that great. In fact, it's pretty pathetic."

"Come on! Just tell me," Enoshima-san insisted. "It's a talent that got you in Hope's Peak so it HAS to be something special right?"

'Special isn't really the word I would like to describe it as,' I thought in my mind.

"Well, according to a lottery that's held every year to normal average students like myself, I was chosen to be the **Super Duper High School Luckster**."

"Luckster?" she questions disbelievingly. "That's you're talent?"

"I'm afraid so," I answered honestly.

The next thing I knew, Enoshima-san is laughing nonstop; holding onto her stomach and in a bent down position.

"I'm so sorry Komaeda-kun," she says trying to contain her laughter. "But you're right. That sure is one lame talent if you can even call it that."

Normally one would be offended or angered by her taunts, but all I did was nod in agreement; chuckling along with her. She was technically correct so I couldn't feel insulted.

"Well, I'm glad you're getting a good laugh out of it. I admit it's pretty funny," I said pleased.

In all honesty, this was the first conversation I had in a long time that I didn't see as hostile or trying to be mean-spirited. Even lowly trash like myself can feel enjoyment in one's company sometimes. Besides, after that meeting with Mr. Kirigiri, it was nice to talk to someone about it, albeit only the minor details.

Also, unlike my previous conversations with people, I didn't even see Enoshima-san as inferior like I did to my classmates at school. Perhaps it was because she was an Ultimate and I found her being at much higher levels than I did with any ordinary person. Being in Enoshima-san's aura was truly a fantastic feeling, even Mr. Kirigiri presence made me feel a ton of respect to a man I had just met. I guess that's the grand superiority and prestige of Hope's Peaks Academy's students.

'Although, does that really count me as one of them?' I curiously wondered. 'Probably not of course.'

Looking at Enoshima-san innocently laughing made me determined to want to help her once she enters school. Being her 'senpai' felt like such an honor. The thought made me slightly quiver with that crazy urge.

Enoshima-san stops laughing; taking out a handkerchief from her purse.

"Ah~ but that's not the only thing I can say about your lame talent," she says, wiping a tear from her eye. "It's just simply ironic."

"Hmm? I know my talent's pathetic but ironic you say?" I said, a little confused.

Suddenly, Enoshima-san's attitude seems to goes from upbeat and positive to a one that's downright melancholic.

"Of course," she continues. "Not only is it lame and pathetic as you say. The talent you possess is also painfully and excruciatingly ironic."

Her voice seemed to go down an octave in low, rather dull, mutters. I started to become a little worried. 'Did I say something that I wasn't suppose to?' I thought in paranoia. 'Did I say something wrong without realizing it?'

"Ah. . .Enoshima-san?"

"It's depressing really," she continues in a deflated manner. "You should know what I mean when your luck is ironic."

She absentmindedly twirls her hair with her fingers, looking away from me with her head down.

"It's sad. So sad. It's ironic for an unlucky person like you, from the day you were born up til now, to have a talent such as luck. Your title should be more like Super Duper High School UN-Luckster instead."

She sighs, shaking her head.

"Really, I just wanted to learn a little bit about my young white-haired neighbor who lives alone in a huge, cold, dark mansion. But from what I heard from our other neighbors, reading the news articles, hearing all about those dreadful things; I got more than what I bargained for. I feel so bad for you. Oh poor Komaeda-san. . ."

I was dumbfounded. I had no clue what was going on at that point. Clearly she was upset but I still really couldn't tell what she was thinking in order to feel for her.

"Hey," I said nervously. "Are you alright Enoshima-san? You seem a little strange."

"I'm perfectly fine Komaeda-san," Enoshima said in a calm, well mannered voice as she was putting on a pair of slim glasses. Now, she seemed to have an air of sophistication in her personality. It was as if the sudden depression she was once feeling had disappeared in an instant. "I was just trying to make our conversation less boring. So, as a result, I decided to mix things up a bit. Is that alright with you?"

I couldn't keep up but for some reason I wasn't bothered at all.

I shrugged. "Well, if it's just to make the conversation more entertaining than I guess it's fine. I'll go along with what you believe is right Enoshima-san."

"Ooooooh alrighty then~" Enoshima-san says acting very cute now. "Soooooo Komaeda-kun, what do you have to say to all those sad boo-hoo stuff I was talking about towards your luck? Huh? Huh?"

"Hmmm. . .I admit that, now thinking about it, you're right. My title is not only fitting for a person like me but ironic as you said. Haha, I'm really pitiful aren't I?"

"Oh yes yes~" she says gleefully. "Very much so. Not oooonly that but having no one to love you. ..It must be quiiiiiiite despairing isn't that? Oh such **Despair** you must feel. . ."

Suddenly a strange mix of emotions and feelings overcame my entire mind and body.

That word. . .

That word. . .That word. . .

That word she rolled easily out of her tongue. That word that made me shiver in disgust. That word that felt repulsive for my ears to bare.

That word. . .

My stomach turned and I felt like I wanted to vomit. This felt worse than my long nights of high fevers. 'What in the world?'

That word seemed to remind me of all the guilt and shame I've dealt with. All the deaths in the past. All the times I've been alone. The cycle of good luck and bad luck I've endured. . .

I couldn't explain it. There was this feeling toward this word. This anger. This hatred.

That word, **Despair**. . .That was something I did not want to feel. I did not want to experience. Ever.

"E-Enoshima-san. . .Perhaps you shouldn't say that wor-"

"BUT HOWEVER!" Enoshima shouted abruptly. I looked back up at her. Now she had a look of triumph on her face and had a crown donned her head. "I can see this very clearly~ Even after all this, all your poor agonizing and suffering back story, after such obstacles and endeavors, after such utter despair. . .you always seem to find a way to be hopeful. Don't you Komaeda?"

_Ba-thump. . ._

My heart started to beat rapidly. My forehead and palm began to feel sweaty. It was that familiar urge creeping into the picture again. This time, I welcomed it with ease and let my curiosity at Enoshima-san statement grow.

_Ba-thump. . .Ba-thump. . . _

"Hopeful?"

"Yes. Hopeful." Enoshima-san was now just inches away from my face. Her eyes wide open; intense and serious.

"Umm. . .I don't really-"

"Do you not see Komaeda?" She continues. "You're so full of hope. So full of longing. Every thing you've dealt with, you've counterattack them with hopeful thoughts and remarks even if you've never realized it before. Fueled by luck, it's that hope that keeps you living. It IS the sole reason why you were actually chosen for Hope's Peak Academy."

"I was?"

"It's the reason why anyone's scouted to join the school. You. . .me. . .it's hope."

_Ba-thump. . .Ba-thump. . .Ba-thump. . ._

"But Mr. Kirigiri said it was our talents that gets us into Hope's Peak," I interjected. "They want our talents for research."

"Oh dear dear Komaeda. You're so forgetful. Remember, where do you think all that research goes to?"

Remembering my meeting with Mr. Kirigiri, I palmed myself in embarrassment and laughed; understanding perfectly what she meant.

"The sake for a a better future," I answered. "To achieve that goal and inspire hope right?"

"BINGO!" She cheered. Her crown is gone; now back to how she originally was at the beginning of our conversation. "I knew you'd figure it out."

"Ah, however Enoshima-san," I interrupted her with a frown. "There's something that's been eating me though. . ."

"Eating you?"

"Could someone as low and worthless like me have the same amount hope that compares to talents like your's and the other students. That school deserves all the research they can get and I'll help them as much as I can. However, there's this sliver of shame that I feel. It's a small feeling telling me that it's impossible for my useless talent to actually do something important."

Enoshima-san giggles and pats her hand on my back; slightly tugging at my parka. "Oh but that's what makes you so much more hopeful. To them. To us."

"How so?"

"That sickeningly sweet hope manifesting in your talent has the potential to do wonders for your future schoolmates and teachers," Enoshima-san explains. "Lucky outcomes need to stem from somewhere right? The ultimate enemy of despair, the things that tries to bring you down, is hope, your lucky outcomes. You see Komaeda, humans thrive off of hope. They can't live without it. Hope comes from all the little special things some humans can do or wish to do. What we want for our lives and dreams to be like. Hope is the unconscious feeling of expectancy, the curiosity of the unknown, and the positivity and optimism we strive for on a day-to-day basis. Without it, there will never be the bright future we oh so desire."

_Ba-thump. . .Ba-thump. . .Ba-THUMP. . .BA-THUMP. . ._

"I see what you mean." I felt strange hearing her say that. Not in a bad way though. It felt comforting actually. I admired every word she said about the concept.

"That's what Hope's Peak Academy is. If it wasn't, then our school would be called Despair's Peak Academy and it doesn't-. . .actually it really has a nice ring to it hehe~" she joked.

I shivered at the word again. Enoshima-san sure had a strange sense of humor. But. . .

_BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! . ._

"Hope huh?"

This piercing feeling of intensity. This heart racing experience I was having because of what Enoshima-san said felt truly and wonderfully amazing. Such excitement. Such immense satisfaction. And all because of a simple but powerful word.

'Hope. . .Hope. . .Hope! That's it! That was it's name!'

"Oh Komaeda-san,"Enoshima-san said. "The look on your face tells me that you've discovered something important. Do tell me~"

I began to laugh joyfully; nodding my head at her in affirmation. 'I'm so stupid for not figuring out the name until now. That urge I craved day and night nonstop. . . It was always **Hope**!'

"It's simple Enoshima-san. It's true that throughout my life this luck of mine has been a rollercoaster of uncertainties, sufferings, and miracles." I spread out my arms, looking up into the afternoon sky. "But in the end, I was always inwardly looking at the positive outcomes that my luck provides to me despite my pessimistic views."

I looked back at her. "In my trials, I hoped for many things. I hoped to be part of a family as a child. I hoped to stop being constantly alone. I hoped to survive a hijacking and plane crash. I hoped to make it out of a killer's grasp. I hoped not to die numerous times and to die plenty of times. I hope to live through my cancer and dementia. Now. . .I hope to be a part Hope's Peak; watching and helping them grow."

"Oooh, such devotion and drive~"

"But that's not all," I continued. "That can't be all. There's something else I feel. Something more than that. I hope to be something. A purpose of some sort for insignificant me. Something of my own. Something that can help reach to somewhere far greater than a brighter future and inspire not just hope but help create something on a higher plane."

I couldn't contain myself and started laughing again. I never felt so good like this in many years.

". . .Help. . .aim for. . .that hope. . ." I tried to say in between my laughter. 'I must thank my good luck once again!'

Enoshima-san, intrigued at my unsightly display of happiness, giggled in a mocking tone.

"Oh gross~ how disgustingly hopeful you are Komaeda-kun haha. . .yet so incredibly despair-induced you are at the same time. How fun to watch~"

I stopped my laughter and reverted my attention back to Enoshima.

"Hmmm? I'm sorry Enoshima-san," I said looking at her a bit suspiciously. "Did you say something?"

"Teehee~ Oh no, nothing," she answered. "Anyways, I must be going now Komaeda-kun. I really had fun and enjoyed talking to you. We should totally hang out again once I go to Hope's Peak."

Eyeing her for a moment, I smiled back in response. "Yes, I had fun too. You also helped me realize something which I am very grateful for."

"Glad to be of service. So I assume you have everything figured out once you go there huh Ultimate Luckster?"

I nodded with a grin on my face. "Ah yes, I know what my role is. What I'm suppose to do."

**To become a stepping stone in order for Hope's Peak Academy. . .**

"I'm glad you feel that way."

**. . . ,for those talented embodiments, aim for that one true hope. . .**

My grin grew wider. "Me too."

"Well then, bye-bye~"

**. . .a hope that can overcome any sort of despair. . .**

"Goodbye Enoshima-san."

Enoshima waves goodbye to me as she starts walking away. Before she disappears out of my sight, she shouts; calling out to me one last thing.

"I hope everything works out for you Komaeda-senpai!"

My grin grew wider and wider and wider.

"With my talent of luck, I know it will."

**. . . An Absolute Hope.**

* * *

><p><strong>Hope's Reconstruction<strong>

Act 1: The Endless Cycle of Good Luck and Bad Luck

End


End file.
